New Zealand: South Island

Leg Two: Nelson to Queenstown (17-25 March 2010)

17 March 2010
Managed to bag the last two seats on the bus heading south, disgruntled to be sacrificing our Abel Tasman hike but relieved to still have enough time to fit in both islands. Our first stop of the day was glacial Lake Rotoiti, nestled at the northernmost tip of the Southern Alps amidst dark beech forest. Despite the shining sun, the icy wind made swimming an unwelcome prospect - those who did brave a jump off the jetty quickly made their exits - so we just soaked up the tranquil setting, trying very hard not to let a demanding troop of hungry ducks spoil it!

The afternoon was spent driving to Westport through mountains carpeted in lush green forest and occasionally interrupted by winding gorges channelling turqoise waters over the pale grey rocks towards the sea. In true St Patrick's Day style, we then passed the evening in the only pub open in the small town, drinking cheap beer, listening to the irish band and making laughable attempts to perfect an irish jig.

18 March 2010
Started the day with a walk at Cape Foulwind, Westport's coastline, so named by Captain Cook who struggled to land there due to bad weather in March 1770. Our next stop en route to Lake Mahinapua was Punakaiki where we walked to the pancake rocks - stratified limestone eroded to resemble stacks of pancakes - and became addicted to watching the blowhole! Lastly, we stopped at Greymouth to purchase our fancy dress outfits for the "poo party" that evening. The poo party is an infamous event on the Kiwi Experience bus circuit where people dress up like idiots and drink copious amounts of alcohol in the bar of Hotel Mahinapua, a musty room with caps hanging from the ceiling and the history of the "poo party" adorning the walls in the form of polaroid photos.

We arrived at the hotel with just enough time to wander down to the lake before dinner - it was actually the perfect time to see it, with dusk falling over the calm dark waters and the empty jetty stretching out towards the surrounding forest.

Headed back for a delicious dinner of rare steak and venison stew before getting ready for our themed party. We were given the infuriatingly broad theme of "are you really wearing that?" and a restrictive budget of $2. In the end, in addition to Roz's dress fashioned out of a binbag and various gift-wrapping products and my pillowcase cape and head torch, we had a human pass the parcel, a shopping bag, a scuba diver and someone simply wearing their own rucksack (obviously they decided to put the $2 towards their beer fund instead)!

19-21 March 2010
Next on the agenda was a day hiking up the Franz Josef glacier. After all, it's not every day you get to say you have trekked up the fastest moving glacier in New Zealand, is it? Advancing four feet a day on average, this vast river of ice was actually moving while we standing on it! The only sacrifice we had to make for this incredible experience was to the world of fashion: kitted out in thigh-skimming kagouls, boots a biker would be proud of, waterproof trousers and bumbags so big we could probably use them as sleeping bags, we were hardly candidates for London Fashion Week. It was worth it though when we got to don our cramp-ons (fearsome-looking metal shoe spiders is the best description I can muster) and clamber our way onto this vast frozen river where what appears to be flat, if uneven, terrain from afar suddenly transforms into huge cliffs and tunnels of sculpted ice, glistening in the sun and speckled with dirt. I felt like a true adventurer. Our friendly guide Alex led the way, bounding along with a pickaxe slung carelessly over his shoulder which he used to carve steps through this ever-changing labyrinth of ice. It was not unlike following one of Snow White's seven dwarves and it was all I could do not to start up a rendition of Whistle While you Work.

Shortly after lunch, during which we huddled together like penguins to keep warm, Alex discovered an unexplored thirty metre-long ice cave. It was too small in places to go allow us to get from one end to the other but we managed to get about a third of the way in where the cave opened up below a perfectly round natural skylight, nothing but swirls of blue and the sky heavy with rain beyond.

That night, we rewarded our hard work with a visit to to the local hot pools, situated in the middle of the forest and fed by water from the glacier - the perfect antidote for our soon-to-be-protesting muscles. This relaxation was not to last unfortunately - we spent the rest of the evening drying our rucksacks with a hairdryer in preparation for yet another early departure the next morning.

21-22 March 2010
Left Franz Josef and headed south to Wanaka, stopping at Lake Matheson where the rain eased enough for us to get some photos of the still lake mirroring the surrounding forest and the snow-capped peaks of Mount Cook and Mount Tasman. Spent the night in Wanaka where the most interesting that happened was that I bagged a free hotdog from a Christian outreach group (sorry still not converted)!

On our way out of Wanaka the next morning (early as usual), we visited Puzzling World, a curious establishment which is apparently home to the world's first 3D maze (didn't know there was any other kind to be honest). The illusion rooms were well worth a look though with attractions including the tilted house where water appears to run uphill and the Ames Forced Perspective Room which solves the mystery of how Elijah Wood was cut down to hobbit size for the Lord of the Rings films.

22-26 March 2010
Three days of doing not much at all passed shamefully quickly in Queenstown - I think the most energetic thing we did was pick up a microphone for a very sketchy rendition of Ben.E.King's Stand by Me at the hostel's karaoke night.

Queenstown is a great place though, not unlike a buzzing ski resort. Frankly, I was just relieved to be in one place for more than 24 hours, all this hopping on and off buses is starting to make me dizzy. Being confined to it for long periods of time does have the plus point of enforced bonding with your group though so it was never a quiet night while we were here!

We finally had a famous Ferg Burger too. Every mention of our coming to New Zealand so far on this trip has been met with "then you simply must have a Ferg Burger in Queenstown" (not that everyone we met was a toffe-nosed posh twit but you get the gist)! To meet our expectations, this burger would have to be taller than me and served on a silver platter. In the event, it was of normal burger size and served in a paper bag. I don't deny it was delicious...just maybe not quite tall enough...